Monday, February 27, 2006

Your place in humor 3-space

Normally I'd be loathe to start posting online tests, but this one is actually kind of cool. Just because it's in 3 dimensions. Supposedly this means I should write for a "humor magazine," a term with which I am unfamiliar.

Anyway, here's a link to the test:
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=17565214125862764376
the Wit
(61% dark, 26% spontaneous, 21% vulgar)
Your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK

Friday, February 24, 2006

Pandora's Network

Pandora.com creates personal online radio stations for users who input several artists and songs they enjoy. It works by coding all of the hundreds of thousands of songs in its library into a set of features such as "aggressive guitar solo" and "vocal-based," and, presumably, presenting users with songs that have features comporable to the ones for which they have indicated a preference.

This is not the only method for song selection that Pandora could implement. Another possibility is to forego any feature-based system, and strictly use networks of user preference. For instance, if I tell Pandora that I like Opeth, and Pandora's data shows that users who like Opeth have a probability of .8 of also liking Children of Bodom, Pandora would be likely to insert a Children of Bodom song in my station.

The preference-network method is more appealing than the feature-based method for two reasons. First, it is simpler. The preference method eschews the induced artificiality of creating features and of categorizing songs by these features. Second, the preference method doesn't digitize aesthetic preference, but rather captures a richer sense of the patterns of music taste. Having my music tastes converted into a feature matrix was initially a big turn-off for me as a Pandora user.

Josh and Diana support the feature-based method, though. Networks of music preference are surely scale-free, they argue, and thus are subject to hubs and high clustering coeffecients. Hubs in the Pandora network are songs that large amounts of people enjoy, for instance "Come Together" by the Beatles. If Pandora chooses songs for us based on preference, it will be biased towards hubs, and thus present us with more popular music at the expense of introducing us to the obscure. High clustering coeffecient refers to the prevalence of "neighborhoods" of strong connectivity within the network. One such neighborhood might approximate the death metal genre. If I tell Pandora that I like an Opeth song, and a Children of Bodom song, I may find my station stuck in a sort of musical ghetto, where Pandora presents me only with songs within the death metal neighborhood.

Furthermore, Josh is concerned with the issue of new additions to the Pandora library. By Josh's model, in a developing scale-free network, older nodes will receive greater connectivity, while new additions will have less connectivity compared to a system based on feature alone.

I want to put forth some responses to these arguments. To solve the problem introduced by hubs and generally counteract the popularity bias described, we could divide the raw "preference probability" of each song by its overall popularity. Say that 80% of all people who like Opeth also like Children of Bodom (because the bands are similar), and 80% of people who like Opeth also like the Beatles (because the Beatles are popular across fans of a huge swath of genres). If we divide each probability by the total popularity of the band in question, the Beatles quantity would be greatly diminished relative to the Children of Bodom quantity, and the preference-based Pandora would deliver us Opeth fans the truly similar Children of Bodom and not the merely popular Beatles.

I agree with the assertion that the preference-based network may be subject to a high clustering coeffecient. I think, though, that the (presumably uniform rather than scale-free) network formed by feature-based Pandora is also subject to a high clustering coeffecient. For example, I have a station based on the music of Ratatat, Aphex Twin, Daft Punk, and Amon Tobin which has delivered to me naught but a constant stream of electronica.

The clustering coeffecient problem in both systems could be solved by adding a "random jump" component to the song-selecting algorithm of both. This would be similar to the method Google employs to crawl through much of the Internet by jumping from link to link on websites. The Google "random surfer" might get stuck in a neighborhood or a loop, but to avoid this, the surfer will "jump" to another random site every once in a while. Pandora's algorithm could (and indeed may) similarly jump to a random song every so often to avoid reinforcing a user's neighborhood of preference.

I think the biggest challange to a preference-based Pandora is the problem of new music in the Pandora catalogue. It does seem that new music, and any music with less total exposure, will be subject to wildly varying preference ratings, and those songs which by the laws of chance initially receive low preference ratings might be buried in the system and never experience wide circulation on Pandora. To partially combat this, we might require that all songs receive a minimum quantity of ratings by random users before their preference matrices are calculated. This manipulation, though, certainly ruins some of the simplicity and purity I originally attributed to the preference-based system.

While it seems to me that a preference-based Pandora would maximize total user enjoyment ratings for a static library of songs, the feature-based Pandora works better for a growing library and does a better job exposing users to obscure songs. This is in keeping with its motto: Pandora purports not to play music I like, but "to help me discover more music I like."

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

We got probs baby


(from the Onion)

Monday, February 20, 2006

Discussion topics on a school-less Monday...

[Josh and I sit in our underwear, 2 in the afternoon, eating cold pizza out of the oven and watching "The Princess Diaries"]

Anne Hathaway: "Please don't crush my soy nuts."

Josh: "Do you think that's a metaphor for the loss of Miss Hathaway's virginity?"

Bryan: "Yes."

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Bad Samaritan

What a bad samaritan!

Bad Samaritan Keeps Camera


This is the story about Judith and her unlost, but not yet found camera. She lost it on a trip to Hawaii, the camera had well over 500 photos on the memory card. Much to her delight she received a call from a park ranger informing her that somebody found her camera. A phone call later she found out that the camera was given to the diabetic son of the Canadian that found the camera. What is astonishing is that she actually accepts this pity excuse and works out a deal. All she wanted was her memory cards and a little bit of compensation—$50 for her $500 camera to be exact—for the camera.


She received a package two weeks later that had burned CDs of the pictures and a note saying that the Canucks needed the memory card for the camera. What’s a lady to do? Of course, furiously call and demand justice! The bad Samaritan didn’t care and told Judith that she was lucky to get anything back at all. Should she just deal with it or further pursue some legal action?


camera unlost, but not quite found [Lost Camera Blogspot]

Thursday, February 16, 2006

I fell asleep face down on my keyboard and when I awoke this article was in front of me ordained from the Great Beyond

Calif. girl's prosthetic legs stolen for 2nd time

By Aarthi Sivaraman
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - For the second time in three months, a 16-year-old California girl who lost a leg in an accident has had her artificial limbs stolen.
Melissa Huff, an Arcadia High School student who uses a $16,000 prosthetic limb to play softball for the school team and another one, valued at $12,000, for everyday use, said both were taken from her bedroom on Tuesday.
"I was picking up my little brother from school when my mom called me and asked where I left the two prosthetic legs," Huff, who lives in the Los Angeles suburb of Temple City, told Reuters in an interview.
"I knew right then that it had happened again."
Lisa Huff, her mother, said she came home around midday on Tuesday and found the room shared by Melissa and her older sister a mess. Only the prosthetic limbs were missing.
Police say they were talking to the girl's friends, neighbors and relatives for information about the missing legs.
In November, thieves broke into the Huff residence and took just her prosthetic limb. After that incident, Melissa's prosthetist and a local real estate company donated about $16,000 for a new limb.
The stolen limb was discovered in the teenager's backyard about a month ago, apparently thrown there by the thieves.
Melissa lost her real leg two years ago when a driver accidentally ran into her as she stood in front of her middle school.
She said she intends to get back on the field this week and just practice throwing until she gets another prosthetic limb.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Intellectuals on Streaming Video

Got a free hour? In this video Daniel Dennet, John Maynard Smith, Edward Wilson, Francis Fukuyama and others speak on consciousness, free will, God, etc. The interviewer is Robert Wright, author of "The Moral Animal," an awesome book about evolutionary psychology and how it informs ethics.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

happy v-day!

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Robots in Disguise!

Some sweetness.

Go check that out. If it doesn't load, its because the video's been getting a crapload of traffic since being posted on slashdot. The thing's pretty impressive though.

-Yoshi

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Buddy Rich Rants

For Your Viewing Pleasure:

Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld speak on the newly released Seinfeld 5th & 6th season DVDs about Rich's volcanic temper, and point out three instances where Rich's signature rants were incorporated into the show. In Season 5 Episode 22, The Opposite, George Costanza hurls threats at two noisy movie patrons seated behind him, using the modified quotation, "How about we step outside and I'll show you what it's like!" Seinfeld shares in the commentary how he marvels at how Rich could insult someone in terms so broad. In Season 6 Episode 24, The Understudy, Frank Costanza quotes his old Korean lover's father, saying "This guy...he's not my kind of guy." The final Rich reference appeared in Season 9 Episode 157, The Butter Shave, as Jerry deliberately bombs on stage in order to thwart Kenny Bania from "riding his coattails," proclaiming, "Then let's see how he does, up there, without all the assistance!"

Here is the Link for the ranting in context:
http://www.cis.rit.edu/~ejipci/buddy_rich.htm

Print me out some bacon!

Now some of you might think that the subject to this entry was inspired by one Cartney E. Smith, Esq. (I use the title esquire here not because Cartney has passed the bar exam, but rather because he is a gentleman)

While the title certainly would appear similar to Sir Smith's typical speech patterns, it is in fact a reference to the following article on ink-jet bacon. (original source)

Print Your Own Bacon

Scientists are hard at work so you can use a modified ink-jet printer to make yourself some bacon. Tissue engineers from the Medical University of South Carolina, and Clemson University, have been printing biomaterials with modified ink-jet printers. The cartridges are filled with suspensions of living cells then the software that controls the characteristics of the ink does the rest. If ink jet cartridges are expensive now wait until you have to replace a hickory smoked bacon flavor cartridge.






Now personally, my lazy saturdays start 'round 6 o'clock when the rooster calls so I can go out, slaughter a pig and butcher the carcass to obtain me some fatty pieces of raw pig flesh. Then I heat up the wood stove and fry up some real honest to goodness bacon before noon. This article suggests that soon, I'll be able to just roll out of bed, push the button on the printer to get my bacon going, and then take a shower while it jets out some artificially grown bacon cells. Is this the future? If so, well I honestly don't know what I'd do with all that extra time!

-Yoshi

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Let the wookie win

Bevan, Andy and I stayed up until 4 in the morning recently playing Super Smash Brothers on Nintendo. A productive use of our time, to be sure, but hey what are college students to do but stereotypically waste their precious youthful hours with eyes glazed over, thumbs madly flying and yelling at a TV screen?

Anyway, it soon became apparent that Andy was not really on his game. Bevan and my victories continued to accrue as Andy's rage level similarly accrued to dangerous levels.

As per usual, at first he began muttering various combinations of "god" "shit" and "fuck" under his breath. Examples: "shit fuck shit," "fucking fuck god fuck," etc. Soon, however, his voice rose and phrases like "Bryan if you god mother fucking shit me one more time I will FUCK YOU" would accompany a controller fling or a fist to the couch.

I should say that Andy has always been a true gentleman, polite and considerate. Once in a while, however, a rage consumes him during the heat of competition, and he transmorgifies into an unrecognizable beast. This is his weakness that, ironically, gives him a terrifying strength that could engulf any nearby bystanders who unluckily encounter this unfettered wrath.

At one point, Bevan leaned close to me and whispered, "Let... the wookie... win." echoing the famous advice given to R2D2 by his loyal pal C-3P0. A game later, Andy won a match and we went to bed, weary but satisfied... and perhaps most importantly for Bevan and I, alive.

Did we let Andy win? Certainly we wouldn't stoop to such a level of pure self-preservation when video game honor was at stake. But it's perhaps always good to keep in mind that if he loses badly enough, a wookie will pull your arms out of their sockets.

The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Sunday sunday sunday!

In honor of the Super Bowl, I give you the All-Criminal Team.
http://www.thephatphree.com/Features.asp?SectionID=2&StoryID=850&LayoutType=1

My personal favorite:
Alonzo Spellman is the only member of this team to have been charged with terrorizing passengers on a commercial flight and forcing an emergency landing. According to investigators, once on the ground Spellman told the pilot “I am about to rip your throat out.” Add to the mix weapons charges, a standoff with police from inside his publicist’s home and the usual DUI and failure to appear charges, and you’ve got a starting D-lineman.
Jesus.

Super Bowl is Funny in an Ironic Way

The Super Bowl is today at six eastern standard time. It might as well be 1982. This is the day that America's Corporate sector drools on itself because they are able to hawk their wares to a big ass market, uh, lets say the world. Believe me, if there was a way to broadcast to other planets where we knew someone would be listening, Ford would say, "To hell with cars, lets figure out how to fucking broadcast to Planet X34B." However, this Super Bowl is especially bittersweet for a lover of cities like me. This is because the Super Bowl is in the blackest and bluest enclave known to America (sans Flint also in Michigan) -- Detroit. This is The Ugly Post-Modern Society, a society where the game is being held downcentre in a city where people (mostly white) are being bussed into seeing it. Where walking around after the game, unless it is to your new Chevy Suburban, is out of the question, and the denizens of Detroit, the few and the black, are left high and dry below the monolith of American "Equality." Make no mistake about it, the gap between the haves and the havenots is rising like a thermometor in Phoenix and so far the people running the show have failed to make this bird rise from the ashes. Selah

Friday, February 03, 2006

The Atlantic Monthly is a blood sucking no good magazine

Sir Alan,

Your link to the blowjob article tells me I need to be a subscriber. Do you have such a subscription? If so, give me it to me.

Love,
Bryan

Thursday, February 02, 2006

for your amusement and bemusement

Courtesy of Molly, here are two entertaining links. Here is a story in the Atlantic Monthly about the rise of oral sex among adolescents. Here is a 1979 news clip featuring Molly's future employer. He is a military man of sorts.

Finally, here is a list of the top five most identifiably Jewish rockers of all time:

5) Leonard Cohen
4) Dee Snider (Frontman of Twisted Sister)
3) David Lee Roth
2) Marty Freedman (Guitarist of Megadeth)
1) Hillel Slovak (late guitarist of The Red Hot Chili Peppers)

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Baby Daddy

I found out recently that the girl I took to junior prom in high school is pregnant. Since, thanks to the collective efforts of Ari Savitsky and Sonia Gupta Inc., we're approaching our own senior prom, this feels particularly odd. I'm not ruminating on getting old just because a high school friend is pregnant, since there's too much chance involved. No, instead, I'm thinking about away message/AIM profile culture.

The pregnant girl, who will be referred to from this point forward as Preggers, has a poll in her away message about what she should name her baby. She also has numerous quotes from friends drunkenly IM'ing her about her upcoming child, and how she dislikes a lot of the side effects of pregnancy. No word on how much Preggers likes the prime effect of pregnancy; namely, bearing a child, but that's to be expected. It's a lot more personal. Morning sickness is funny, as is hating your dad for getting pissed off at you for being pregnant (I guess). But the real life-changing implications of becoming pregnant due to bad luck at age 21? That's a core issue, and one to be avoided in AIM away messages.

Avoided, for now at least. Progressive generations tend to get less prudish about posting personal information online, or at least less prudish about information in general. So will our kids poll their friends online as to whether or not they should abort or bear their child? All I know is, when I eventually think about a career change from hobo to writer, or something else really important, I hope that I don't make that information public to the entire online community. Let alone the name of my kid.

A girl I dated a few times when I was 19 had a line in her profile to the effect of, "When we're 45, will we have away messages like 'luv you johnny, 22 years, 3 kids and counting'? I hope so!" It's funny, but there really is something to be said about the obsession with AIM profiles and away message stalking. What that is, exactly, I don't know, because it's 2:20 AM right now. But it's something to think on.

Keep my friend Preggers in mind, and use two condoms or something. Maybe that's my point.