PENIS!!!!!!!
Dear Ursine Jug-Journal,
I attract the most bizarre characters on the planet. A magnet for them. I'm a magnet, and they drive me to tears. I have spent the past six days with a research lab type of person, the kind who revels in smelling like beta-mercaptoethanol, A COMPLETE LOSER. For whatever inane REASON, he beseeches my company, and then proceeds to be unpleasant for the hours we are together, probing and prying about, demanding that I define friendship, define this, define that, challenges me on my notions of Darwinian evolution, or the exact unabbreviated name of the molecule responsible for altitude sickness. He must make sure, very sure, that I am of his intellectual caliber (but not above, nor below), before he officiates our friendship. He does not say "hello" or "goodbye" because such formalities he regards as superficial (WHO ON EARTH?), and does not ever, ever make eye contact during conversation.
I am sure I could find him in one of the hefty textbooks my family has been good enough to finance me with, on top of our exorbitant tuition costs that have granted me a degree in Neuroscience. A case study in "avoidant neurotics". But let's be real; let's be honest - he is not drooling in his soup, chained to a hospital bed in a catatonic freeze, and because of that, we call people like that "PRICKS". What have I done with my education. What have I done. How dare I venture into the maw of behavioral studies. How absolutely arrogant of me to think I could help anyone in the world with their lives.
Sucking on a pillow,
Jen
I attract the most bizarre characters on the planet. A magnet for them. I'm a magnet, and they drive me to tears. I have spent the past six days with a research lab type of person, the kind who revels in smelling like beta-mercaptoethanol, A COMPLETE LOSER. For whatever inane REASON, he beseeches my company, and then proceeds to be unpleasant for the hours we are together, probing and prying about, demanding that I define friendship, define this, define that, challenges me on my notions of Darwinian evolution, or the exact unabbreviated name of the molecule responsible for altitude sickness. He must make sure, very sure, that I am of his intellectual caliber (but not above, nor below), before he officiates our friendship. He does not say "hello" or "goodbye" because such formalities he regards as superficial (WHO ON EARTH?), and does not ever, ever make eye contact during conversation.
I am sure I could find him in one of the hefty textbooks my family has been good enough to finance me with, on top of our exorbitant tuition costs that have granted me a degree in Neuroscience. A case study in "avoidant neurotics". But let's be real; let's be honest - he is not drooling in his soup, chained to a hospital bed in a catatonic freeze, and because of that, we call people like that "PRICKS". What have I done with my education. What have I done. How dare I venture into the maw of behavioral studies. How absolutely arrogant of me to think I could help anyone in the world with their lives.
Sucking on a pillow,
Jen
